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About Me Member Procrastinator removable18/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Homicide

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Could I really have an eating disorder?

Wed Dec 12, 2007, 6:40 PM
  • Mood: Nervous
  • Listening to: BBC NEWS 24
  • Reading: LAST DAYS OF THE REICH- JAMES LUCAS
  • Watching: BBC NEWS 24
  • Playing: SEGA CLASSICS
  • Eating: WHAT DO YOU THINK!
  • Drinking: WHISKY
Well well well, the invalid’s going back to the doctors to waste even more tax payers money, I’ve been avoiding him for a while but I figure its about time to go back, I have begun self harming again (which I haven’t done for four years), am not eating properly, drinking again (and was doing so well) and am generally painfully self-aware, overtly analytical, cynical, nihilistic ECT ECT BLAH BLAH BLAH, I even bore myself with all this self indulgent bullocks
I think my main worry is that I have become very secretive with my behaviour, even with James, whereas before, at least with him I would say something but now well I only ever seem to be eating for show and even then it doesn’t usually stay in my stomach for too long ( which really is strange for me because I have always had a massive appetite), before people would say I was looking good, now they say I look pale and thin and ask if I’m sick, even my mother ( who is stick thin), keeps trying to give me seconds, maybe I’m paranoid or maybe she’s caught on, but it seems as if she’s pressuring me to eat, even though I purposely eat in front of her, in order to disprove her suspicions
I don’t know if I have a problem or not, circumstance brought on these issues, but it probably would of happened one way or another anyway so I can only blame myself, needless to say I do worry, maybe I should just stop being so self possessed and get on with it, I don’t know, maybe I will go to the doctors appointment tomorrow but in all honestly I probably wont, why waste his time, when people with really problems could have my appointment

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: London, England
  • Interests: Reading, sleeping, writing, escapism
  • Favourite movie: Cocteau's blood of a poet, Renoir's la regle du jue,
  • Favourite band or musician: Manic street preachers
  • Favourite genre of music: Britpop, indie, rock, industrial, classical
  • Favourite artist: Mark Rothko, Piero Manzoni
  • Favourite poet or writer: Camus, Lawrence,Wilde,Pinter, Cocteau, Sartre, Chekov, Hamsun, Roth, Kierkegaard, Orwell, Hume, ECT
  • Favourite photographer: Lee miller
  • Skin of choice: Nicky wire!
  • Favourite game: Final fantasy 9 or 7, Bomberman, KIRBY!!!!
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: Hikaru and Kaoru from ouran school host club high (guilty pleasure...very guilty)
  • Personal Quote: Useless is beautiful
  • Tools of the Trade: Ciggerettes, risperdal, fluvoxamine, diazepam, alcohol, coffee......pen

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Comments


:iconswat532:
Hi, i was going to reply your message in the forum , but there were many responses, i figured i would post it here so that you could read it ( do not consider this as a spam or a personal threat ) =)
------------------------------------------------

lol dude your saying that cause you either never got laid , couldn't deliver it at the right time or coming off a bad break up .
rofl.

But seriously, sexual pleasure is a need for all existing creatures especially humans.
I completely disagree with you (nothing personal of course). Sexual intercourse is not a matter of threat but a matter of reproduction or pleasure, nothing more.

"Rape, paedophilia, unwanted pregnancies, terminations, over population, bad health, immoral behaviour and religious intolerance" are not caused by desire of sex. They are simply caused by the state of a sick mind and can be explained clearly.

Rape : People who commit sexual crimes are considered mentally ill, they do not sexually rape because they "desire" sex, they usually do it to get back at something : a failure, a bad childhood,...

Paedophilia: Pedophilia is a developmental disability and not a sexual orientation or a "sexual desire" as you say.

Unwanted pregnancies: Again caused either by rape or "a bit 2 much drink"
Over population: This one usually has a cultural reason and also the medical advancement, preventing people from dying naturally.

Immoral behaviour and religious intolerance: Again caused by cultural background and also religion politics (it is for the best to not open a discussion on that issue)

Anyways, in conclusion, what you are suggestion does not make any logical sense.
Please reply me; I would love to hear your comments.

Thank you.

--
Nima
[link]
:iconremovable:
I am aware that there are meant factors that lead to these things my point was it was just easier to rid the world of sex than to rid the world of all these issues

--
Du
du hast
du hast mich
du hast mich gefragt
du hast mich gefragt, und ich hab nichts gesagt"
:iconremovable:
hiya thanks for adding me and replying
I was kinda (very) drunk when creating that topic, not to say that all of that was just alcohol speaking but I probably wet a bit over the top, I was very suprsed to log on and find 168 unanswered messages but was not sure to reply to them, so as not to revive a topic that is dead
lol, I feel like a bit of a twat now. A bottle of vodka and interneT acsess is never a good thing

--
Du
du hast
du hast mich
du hast mich gefragt
du hast mich gefragt, und ich hab nichts gesagt"
:iconharlequincat:
thanks for the :+fav:

--
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam
(I have a catapult. Unless you give all of your money to me, I will fling an enormous rock at your head)
:iconiznbodyzangel:
thanks for the fave =D :hug:

--
Killer Palm Trees Are On The Loose in Florida
:iconaudjo:
Thnx fr the fav!

--
There goes my heart again. . .
The drug i can't get enough of. . .
The one who makes me whole. . .
I leave this trail of tears. . .
:iconthe-mitmit:
I am watching you8-)

I like your lyrics.

--
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
--Aldous Huxley

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